This week I have tried to learn something new. My girls (who are college-aged young women) asked me to join them on an app called “Be Real.” I was intrigued so I asked them to tell me more. They described it this way: “it’s an app that sends out an announcement one time, every day, for everyone on the app. You have just two minutes to stop whatever you are doing and take a picture, wherever you are, and hit send. Everyone you are friends with on the app sends one too and you can see what your friends are doing. It’s so fun!”
So I said I was game and loaded the app into my iphone. I asked a few questions like: “how is this different from other apps where you post what you are doing?” They said, “Well, this one captures you not so much in a pose or in something you have designed but whatever you are doing in the moment. You are supposed to simply be real.” I thought, ‘This will give me a chance to see what my children are up to, especially the one in Ireland who is annoyed by too many check-ins from her mom.’
I have been posting for about five days. I am only posting with my two children, my sister and her daughter, also in college, for now. I notice we all are doing pretty normal things and we smile for the camera: out walking the dog, driving in the car, studying with friends, maybe out getting a milkshake. I’m glad to see what my loved ones are up to; these make me smile. And yet, I’m thinking: is this “being real”? Is social media ever real? Not really. We share the really good and the really bad. The real stuff is rarely something we can show in a picture. Sometimes, but rarely.
The real stuff for United Methodists has made its way into social media in a big way over the last few weeks, maybe months. Disaffiliation from the United Methodist Church and why churches are choosing to leave have become more and more present in my feed. I have seen folks defending their point of view over and over. It feels real: hurt and hope, anger and anticipation, fear and frustration are all represented, and much more. Beliefs and feelings are being shared and released day after day; this is real and yet I’m sure there is so much behind these words we don’t see or know. There is a lot of information and misinformation out there; I’m grateful, in many ways, that some choose to give it personal and professional context. We need one another. Really. This is a crazy difficult time in the life of the UMC and people called Methodist.
And yet, there is more. The real stuff is not only what we see on social media, which are opinions and beliefs being lifted but how this is playing out in real time, in real churches, in the lives of real clergy and laity. Some nitty gritty real stuff is lifted up to us in the scripture from Luke 17:7-10, a portion of the upcoming lectionary reading. It is sometimes named the “Parable of the Worthless Servant.” This descriptor comes from the Greek term for servant. In the context of the story, the servant is not worthless but does what is asked and expected. And – there is no thank you. The servant is expected to know the job was done adequately.
As clergy and laity leading our churches, you may resonate wholeheartedly with this servant. We are in the midst of changes in our churches around disaffiliation, repopulating in person services, and adjusting to the ongoing technology needed to keep current. We are letting go of best practices of the past that now are not so applicable. These changes are coming rapidly and are demanding of all our leadership. It is most difficult to keep everyone happy at this time (to state the obvious).
Rabbi Simcha Bunem, a Polish Hasidic master, stated that everyone should have two pockets with a note in each pocket. The note in the left pocket should read, “I am but dust and ashes.” The note in the right pocket should read, “For my sake the world was created.” Parker Palmer echoes this sentiment by saying we all need a coat with two pockets. One pocket should contain dust and the other should hold gold. Both of these images remind us of the complexity of our personhood and call us to inner reflection: are we haughty so as to forget our brokenness? Are we so low we forget that we were created in the image of God?
As disciples and church leaders we have experienced both ends of this spectrum. We recognize there are times when we receive praise and gratitude for sharing our gifts and there are times when we rest in our faithfulness yet hear nothing in the way of approval. It is in times like these that we must rely on the deeply held truth in our souls that Christ has called us, the real us with all our gifts and faults, even now. Faithfulness is as much a reward as an outward standing ovation. Thank you for remaining faithful even when you are not feeling particularly encouraged. Thank you for recognizing the seasons of discipleship and remaining with Christ as we move ever closer to the next season and the next.
Please know the real, vulnerable ways you are engaging with your congregation, the ways you lead and offer compassion, are valued. I give thanks to God for you. The good news is that there is more in store. This season will change and the new one brings with it a new day, a hopeful tomorrow and a fresh approach. God provides for us. I’m walking with you and seeking out this new day as well.
As we long for approval, may we recognize God’s voice rewarding us with a “well done.” I pray we will find a place of contentment in serving faithfully alongside one another.
**full disclosure: I offer gratitude for Mike Frese’s words and inspiration in today’s article. It is good to have colleagues to help carry us in a season such as this one.
Peace,
Tara